The Game of Real Life turns DBT skills into something you play, argue about, and laugh through, which is a fair description of how the skills work in practice too.
It was created by Dr. Jesse Finkelstein, PsyD, and published by Penguin Random House in March 2022.
What is in the box
- Conflict Cards, each one a hypothetical situation that goes wrong in a recognizable way
- Skill Cards, drawn from DBT
- A 96-page pocket guide to the skills behind the game
How it plays
One player is the judge and reads out a conflict. Everyone else plays the skill card they think best handles it. The judge picks the response that works and awards the point. Whoever resolves the most conflicts wins.
The mechanic is simple, and it does something a worksheet cannot. You have to argue for why a skill fits a situation, out loud, in front of people who may disagree. That is closer to real use than memorizing a list.
Who it is for
- Families who want to talk about conflict without being in a conflict
- DBT skills groups and classrooms looking for practice that holds attention
- Anyone curious about DBT who would rather start with a game than a textbook
How it connects to the work here
The skills in the game are the same ones used in DBT and CBT treatment at Axis Psychological Services. A game is a way in, not a treatment. When emotions are running the show, work with a clinician does what a card deck cannot.
If you want the skills in written form, the guide Real Skills for Real Life covers 26 of them step by step.
Where to get it
The game is listed at Penguin Random House and sold by major retailers.
If you want to practice these skills beyond the game, learn about DBT therapy in NYC, or join the DBT skills group in NYC.
Common questions about the DBT card game
What is in the box?
Conflict Cards, each one a hypothetical situation that goes wrong in a recognizable way, Skill Cards drawn from DBT, and a 96 page pocket guide to the skills behind the game.
How does the DBT card game play?
One player is the judge and reads out a conflict. Everyone else plays the skill card they think best handles it. The judge picks the response that works and awards the point, and whoever resolves the most conflicts wins. The rounds are self contained, so a game runs as long as you want it to.
What age is it for?
Teenagers and adults, and families often play it together. Younger children tend to miss the point of the skill cards, which depend on being able to imagine a situation you are not currently in. Skills groups and classrooms use it as practice that holds attention better than a worksheet.
Is it a substitute for therapy?
No. A game is a way in. It gives people a reason to argue out loud about which skill fits a situation, which is closer to real use than memorizing a list. When emotions are running the show, work with a clinician does what a card deck cannot.
